I was born in a desert state. I live in a desert state – Rajasthan. My first and eternal love is my birth place in a desert state – Jaipur.
I still hate summers. From the bottom of my heart. I hate summers because Gin-san hates summers. I hate summer so much that everytime anyone from Game of Thrones says “Winter is Coming.” I jump with joy …Yea !!! Yes, Please ! Away with summers !!
If someone was experimenting on human hibernation, I would sign up. Let me hibernate through summers. Wake me up when September ends.
I have zero tolerance towards heat and negative functionality from mid-April to mid- July. Peak Summers !!!! The temperature is effing above 45 C !!! Me no function after 38 degrees. See my grammar also broke down.
However, let’s try (only trying, no guarantee of results) to be reasonable (again, only trying) …
Let’s list out why I hate summers and hurl profanities at the Sun for almost 3 months, here’s why..
- Boiling Hot Water — ALL THE TIME ! all the time !! I appreciate hot water in winters, it’s a blessing. Not in summers. Turn on the shower at midnight its hot water. When you brush your teeth in the morning, you have hot water. Wash your hands any time of the day, boiling hot water. Want to cool off after a hectic day, try scalding hot water. And if I haven’t made myself amply clear, have you tried washing your behind with hot water? There you go. Welcome to my life.
- Sun Burns – No Tanning. Burns. Step out in the sun in the morning, you get tanning. Step out after 10 a.m. deep tanning. Step out between 12-4, you’re better off walking into a giant oven. I’m sure you must have seen some movie where a tribe is roasting a human slowly. I have never wondered what that feels like because I am stupid enough to step out between 12-4 for work despite the fact that the government has issued directions to citizens to not step outdoors between 10-5 and stay at home or offices. Yes, the government actually issues these directions and they are termed as red-alert. You can verify it on the net. It could totally be a conspiracy to make sure people reach offices in time, but they might actually be doing something sensible for a change.
- Heat Strokes – Headache, dizziness, nausea, weakness, rashes, irritation, loose motions. In and out of AC. Temperature differences. Heat Stroke…..
- Heat Rashes – Talc powder. If you don’t use a good talc powder in summers, you might as well get “Stupid” tattooed on your forehead, and your kids arms would then be tattooed saying “mera baap stupid hai”. Deodorants do not help with heat rashes only talc powder does. You smell bad, use a perfume. You want to safe guard yourself from heat rashes, use a talc. I stay in AC room most of the time and I still use a talc because you sit on a chair and your back is in contact with the back rest. Voila! Heat Rashes !!
- Dehydration – No matter how much water you have, you are perennially dehydrated. Water just isn’t enough. You need to balance out the salt as well. So either learn to drink at least a litre of water with ORS or fruit juices or coconut water or buttermilk; or stay dehydrated no matter how much water you drink. Frankly, even those don’t help much, even when you sit all day in AC. I have contemplated turning into an aquatic animal for long.
- Exorbitant Electricity Bill – AC all day, in all the rooms. The sun is so harsh you have to close the windows. So you have to turn on the lights. You can’t step out. AC = Electricity bill.
- Power Cuts – Power cuts in summers. Awesome !!! No electricity, no AC, no cold water to drink.
- Dust Storms – Clean the house in the morning and God blesses you with an inch thick layer of dust right after. Have you seen Prince of Persia? Sands of Time? The dust storm that is the wrath of Gods? It’s a weekly feature. SO if you want to play the game in real life, come to Rajasthan.
- Yucky Vegetables – Lauki, Taurai, Karela, Baingan. Yuck ! Yuck ! Yuck ! the seasonal vegetables are all yuck! The only saving grace are the seasonal fruits. Mango, muskmelon, litchi, watermelon, sugarcane….yum.
- “LOO” – No, Not the place where you go potty. The heat wave that blows is called “loo”. When you step out of the house it feels like you are being repeatedly slapped by a hot pan.
- Clothing Problems – In winters you can layer up, but in summers, you can’t roam around naked. It’s too hot to even wear your own skin !! And I’m too lazy to shave…so I have to think twice before wearing shorts. Blah !
- Water Problems – I live in Rajasthan, its a desert state. We have water problems.
- Family Functions – In Rajasthan, 90% of the family functions happen in summers. So yes, welcome to hot drinks, hot pan slaps of loo, over-dressing, running make-up, dehydration, heat rashes and relatives.
- Lizards – So many of them !!!! Everywhere !! it’s super irritating. I have no idea why they are in so much abundance. Gah !!
- Headaches – Dehydration and the mad heat…. step out for 2 minutes, and headache.
- Skin Problems – oily skin, acne, rashes.
So ya, this was my rant about summers. If you face any of the above problems or have issues of your own, do leave it in the comments and we can mutually rant about them.