Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

With a recent post I shared my confusions about the unfathomable nature of the Indian men that confound my already dysfunctional brain. The first post was about Indian men holding hands in public. This post deals with another baffling habit of men. Again, it’s not male bashing I’m just sharing my confusions out loud. As usual, if you have an explanation, please leave it in the comments below and enlighten me as well. Here goes….


Shameless and unabashed staring. Indian men (most) have this super weird habit of staring at women. They don’t blink, they will keep moving but their eyes will be glued to you. If you are a woman reading this, you have experienced it. Just face it, you have. If you’re a guy, you have probably done this. Accept it; you’ve behaved like an idiotic pervert.

If you see a female clad scantily, your mind will drool like the big bad wolf; if you see her dressed in a burka, you will still scan her and try and build an image for her and the horses of the male imagination run helter-skelter. I mean is there no limit to which men will fall? If you are driving, they will stare at you. God forbid, if someone is crossing the road and you are honking at them (This is India, you HAVE to honk if you want to get anywhere, at all), that individual will stare at you as if you have committed a sin. And by stare I mean grill you with his eyes. Men will stare at women in sari as if they are at a free show in Amsterdam.

Some tend to justify it by saying they don’t discriminate between women, young-old, religion, colour, they believe in equality, so they will equally lech at every woman.

My answer to that would be neither does electricity, so why don’t you go hold naked live wires and electrocute yourself.

This above stated weird justification is often given by allegedly educated men, and then you just feel that wouldn’t the world be better off if men were really shipped off to Mars. It is said that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. So does that mean my beauty is dependent on a guy’s leching habits??? or that a blind individual cannot perceive beauty ??? or that more the number of guys who stare at you like mindless animals, the more beautiful you are ???

No offence to Plato, and I totally understand the true meaning of the quote, but dude, your words have put on a very wrong shade in the recent years and especially in the Indian context. I wonder if Plato was born in India then would he have had the same concept of beauty or he would have taken the path of Manu and regarded women as mere property ??? Hmmm…..

That being said, I have endeavored to gain some insight into this habit. I have not been able to find a common factor. Age, financial stability, social background, there is no common thread, except that it’s always men. One can walk into the poshest of the places and you will find some odd guy ogling at you. One can walk into a remote village and you will be met with curious eyes, but not leching eyes. Men appreciate, so do women, and that, frankly, is a boost for your self-confidence. But leching….not so much….

In the defence of men, not every stare is lecherous, in all probability, he is just curious. Maybe he is zoned out and watching a replay of his favorite game and you confuse it with him staring at you. But you know, what I am talking about, it’s not the curious ones, not the harmless zoned out ones, it’s the ones that follow you with their eyes, unblinking focused eyes.

One website states it’s because men have Attention deficiency, so they tend to stare more. Well at least they got that right. Thankfully, that article is more male bashing than this post will be, I encourage all females to read it, and if you are a man reading this, please click the link and gain some insight into the dark recesses of your brain. The thing I really liked about it was that it openly admits that we are a deprived and, more importantly, a depraved society. Men NEED to be educated better.

I, for my part, have read numerous articles, spoken to guys and still fail to understand as to why men stare at women like this. The articles I read dwell into the psyche of men, talk about social conditions, the image media has created, etc. etc. It’s heart-warming to see that its Indian men who have written articles bashing this habit in other men. I admit, not all are douche bags (thank God for small mercies) but those who are can really rile you up !

I wonder how men would feel if women were to lech at men like that. Stare mindlessly at their various body parts, check out their butts and cat-call them and slide their hands over to some random body part at opportune moments at public places. Then again, I guess some do get a taste of their own medicine when some random gay individual tries to hit on them, that apparently seems to be the only way to knock sense into them.

But still, everytime some two-bit idiot stares at you, you feel this compulsive urge to go and punch his nose.

Well, all I can say is, killing is still illegal and one has better things to do than to waste time over idiots. Think about the good ones who are out there and write male bashing articles.

Yes, I am just tired of being leched and stared at, and I have taken the liberty to vent it out on my blog in hopes that someone out there would also have the same feelings and we can be happy together in the knowledge that despite the fact that we dearly love the men in our lives, it’s simply infuriating when certain men behave in a way which becomes a generalised behaviour and women feel like shipping the male population off to Mars.

Disclaimer: I repeat. I am NOT a feminist or anything, nor do I want to indulge in male bashing. If someone’s feelings got hurt then, put some anti-septic 😛 and get on with your life.


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