Of all the things that fascinate a human, its own species is one of those that a human tends to obsess over. I am no exception. I obsess over EVERYTHING that is to do with bipeds (my term for humans). Amongst many issues that confound my already dysfunctional brain, is the unfathomable nature of the Indian men.
We all know that even God cannot understand women, but men are no less muddling by any measure. So, I decided to do a post on certain habits of Indian males that I find absolutely befuddling and stupid. It’s not male bashing, and it’s more like sharing my confusions out loud. If you have an explanation, please leave it in the comments below and enlighten me as well. So here goes….
I just don’t understand this. I don’t! I find it odd, extremely odd. I have never seen any man who is not a resident Indian doing this, any man from any race, color, region, wherever they may come from. It is only Indian men who will hold hands. Most of the tourists or expats or persons of Indian origin (Indians who were born and raised abroad) do not have this habit, and they too find it confusing, if not appalling. It is somehow restricted to the male offspring of the sub-continent, it is not found in the female population. One will not often find females holding hands in public, nor will you find a man holding a woman’s hand in public.
On rare occasions, you may find a young couple stealthily holding hands. But God forbid, if you find a male from rural areas holding a woman’s hand in public, it will be a social disgrace. As if his masculinity has dropped from India all the way to Antarctica, frozen itself and died a slow cold painful death. It is acceptable to hold a man’s hand but not a woman’s. Not even your mother’s unless you are below 8 years of age. Explain that to me, someone, anyone?
A remarkable thing that needs to be mentioned is that it is considered as a sign of friendship and not as an expression of sexuality. Men holding hands are allegedly NOT gay. We all know this because if you’re a female reading this, these hand-holding individuals have ogled at you at some or the other time. Indian men not just hold HANDS, they also go arm in arm or put their arm around shoulder or waist or…hold your breath….hold hands with fingers intertwined like a moonstruck teenage couple. And they are NOT gay. It’s an open display of affection, “brotherly love” or “bond of friendship” in public.
It’s alright for men to publicly display their feelings through this particular physical gesture, but it is not acceptable when a person of the opposite sex is involved. A guy cannot hold a girl’s hand and girls do not hold each other’s hands. I personally find this offensive and demeaning. Alright, maybe you don’t want your kids getting out of hand and indulging in PDA or any kind of affection. But explain to me, why being a man can you not hold your own mother, wife, sister, friend or child’s hand? I mean doesn’t your homophobic nature find validation in holding a female hand rather than a male hand.
On that note, I do not understand this hatred; this sheer hatred and intolerance Indian men have towards gay men. I find it absolutely astounding. And yet they consider holding hands IN PUBLIC as absolutely normal. Someone explain this reverse psychology to me.
Another thing that I have noticed is that Indian men who come from educationally and economically stable backgrounds, do not hold hands with other men. They prefer holding hands with females, and they are more tolerant towards the gay community. Also, in villages few men hold hands. It is mostly in cities that I find men hailing from less stable backgrounds holding hands. It could be because city boys are better educated and do not suffer from an inherent insecure nature. They are in a better position to understand the world and deal with its complexities. On the other hand, their less educated counter parts, who have seen a male dominated world, where they were the kings of their particular realms, find themselves belittled in their new habitat in the city. It may be for this reason that men find some emotional comfort and mental security in this particular physical expression of solidarity.
I, for my part, have never made the mistake of under-estimating the power of human touch. A mere look can convey more than any number of words. And most of us can understand a person’s body language. But till date, I have never ever been able to understand, the meaning of two grown straight men holding hands. Correction! At times you can find a GROUP of men holding hands. Yes, all of them holding another person’s hand, and just walking on the street. Oh wait, not like little school kids holding each other’s hands to cross the road. No, no, no, no, no. They clasp hands, fingers intertwined, like couples. Imagine, five men clasping each other’s hands and walking down the street. I know the image is torture, sorry to do that to you, but now you atleast get my point. It is super weird. It is one of the great mysteries of life that I am still trying to figure out.
So, this is it for this post, the inexplicable habit of Indian men holding hands. Hope you liked it. Share it if you did. Leave a comment if you have any insights on this particular issue.
Disclaimer: I know I am repeating myself but I don’t want it to look like male bashing. I am NOT a feminist or anything, nor do I want to indulge in male bashing. If someone’s feelings got hurt then, put some anti-septic 😛 and get on with your life. CHILL DUDE !